February 1, 2012

What I Wore: Don't Paint Me Perfect

Josh says I like to go for the painter's smock aesthetic
Thrifted shirt, gifted earrings, Payless shoes, American Eagle jeans, JCPenny's teal socks :-D

Remember that time when anyone who hears that you're into fashion, that you have a fashion blog, or that you might like to pursue a career in fashion automatically does a once-over on your outfit to personally assess if there's any hope for you?

That time is now. And forever.

I'm pretty good at doing my own thing regardless of what other people think of me. Some people's thoughtless jabs just aren't worth the worry, you know? But even super-sweet friends of mine sometimes make comments that bring a huge lump into my throat.

"I couldn't stand it . . . having to look fashionable all the time."

"Oh, so this look is one of your fashion things . . ."

"I could never pull off half of the stuff that you fashion bloggers do."

I'm sure that no one (okay, almost no one) is trying to be mean or cause me to experience doubts about my purpose as a human being . . . but nevertheless, probably through my own insecurities, this is where I always end up.

You know something?

I might blog about my experiences in the art and fashion communities, but to assume that doing so means that I am the perfect artist and fashionista puts an amount of pressure on me that I don't plan on carrying.  

I'm the first to admit that I am imperfect. I still have days when I don't have time to wash my hair and put it up instead. I have days when I don't want to smile for that camera. I have days where I feel like I can't blog because if I do I'll pour out all of the private stresses and struggles of my life. I have days when art and fashion are the last things on my mind.

I might blog, but this doesn't define who I am.

I am first and foremost a woman, a child of God, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a student . . . and somewhere down the line I am an artist, a fashionista, a writer, and yes, a blogger.

No kind and honest person would expect me to behave perfectly all the time because I'm a Christian . . . or to be a genius just because I'm in school. That being said, I need to remind myself that I do not need to look/sound/seem perfect when I post to Nine to Phive.

Phew, isn't that a load off?

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